


Burning Coffee Beans

by lamilton



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M, waluigi's always watching you
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 00:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16692172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamilton/pseuds/lamilton
Summary: wah





	Burning Coffee Beans

**Author's Note:**

> i hate myself and god ha tes me too

“It has been said that all truly great people come from less than ideal beginnings.” The man standing behind the podium shifted his weight onto his right foot, and pushed his brown tortoiseshell glasses up the bridge of his nose. He had been standing there for quite some time now, and his lower half was beginning to numb from the pressure he had constantly been putting on it.  
From afar he seemed a bit rugged- his curly hair always had the shape of ‘the morning after’, and his pants were torn and dirty from the work that he did in his garden. His skin was rather tan, and darker freckles adorned his face, smattered on him like someone glided a paintbrush over his soft skin.  
His imperfections seemed to outweigh his admirable traits, however. He had scars littering his body, spread over his arms and legs and back from situations that he prefered not to ever speak of, a small slit on his right eyebrow from falling into a rosebush, a cut on his neck from a falling butcher knife. His eyes were a mixture between blue and brown and green, not the beautiful hazel that one would expect from a man so seemingly wonderful as he, but a murky soup that seemed like a pool that was never taken care of, so dirt and dead animals drifted inside, never to be cleaned out.  
He hated standing in front of crowds, worried that they would judge him because of how every time he began a quote his right hand twitched, and when the same adjective appeared in two sentences he would flinch. His quirks caused an internal hatred, a flame that would burn from his very core and work its way up to his heart, eating away at any confidence he had built up within the short periods of time where it seemed like the burning had ceased. It was always the words of another that fueled this fire, like how he would overhear a remark from a passing pedestrian on the sidewalk, or how he would wake up one morning and check his phone, only to discover a notification that spoke of how someone hated the way he spoke or presented himself on the internet.  
So when his professor asked him to read his term paper to his class, and he couldn’t exactly say no, he filled himself with so much dread that when the day finally came, he threw up five minutes before class started. These insecurities had built up over the six days he had to prepare, and they overflowed, spilling out over the sides of the box he had tried to shove them in. He couldn’t back out, not now. He had to share this, impress his professor, and show everyone, and himself, that he could get himself together and complete his presentation. And he did, though his voice was shaky and his hands trembled with every sentence he read. Though it seemed like forever, in an hour he had reached his conclusion.  
“Thank you. I’m John Laurens.”  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
As soon as his professor spoke some closing words, John stood up and rushed out of the lecture hall, chest constricting like an anaconda around his neck, tears threatening to pour down his cheeks. He felt the rather quiet murmurs of his classmates behind him, discussing his findings. Though he couldn’t pick up anything, he was too far away to, he felt like they were still bashing him nonetheless. He felt worthless and stupid- why did he agree to get up in front of the whole class? His professor must have it out for him, he wouldn’t have asked John to share if he actually cared about the wellbeing of his student. Nobody ever cared about him. He was all alone, and needed to fend for himself in the dangerous jungle that was college.  
Instead of heading back to his dorm room, John turned down Main Street to go to his favorite cafe, Washington’s Roasts. As he headed down the sidewalk, leaves crunching under his scuffed boots, thoughts, criticisms, scorns circled his brain about the past hour and a half. He never should have been stupid enough to tell his professor that he would get up in front of his class. He should have never even taken the class in the first place. Hell, he should have ended his life before the semester started so he wouldn’t even encounter the chance of being as stupid as he just was. Again he began blinking back moisture, almost daring the tears to come out, like World War III was going to break out if he felt a single drop on his face. He saw the forest green and white sign of Washington’s Roasts in the near distance, about thirty paces. John took a deep breath, and continued to march along the street.  
When he opened the door of the cafe, he was greeted with a comfortable silence(as well as the delightful aroma of coffee), the only element breaking the peace was an absurd amount of giggles from two employees behind the counter, one perched on top of the granite, in between the two cash registers, and the other leaning against the drip coffee machines. As John opened the door further to allow himself adequate space, a bell jingled, spooking the two employees, though they just laughed it off. One of the two caught John’s eye, and grinned.  
“John! How are you man? You just got out of class, right? Herc and I have been waiting for you.” During the last sentence the employee nudged his companion. John’s eyebrow raised, though it was more playful than anything else.  
“Yea, class ended like ten minutes ago. I’m doing okay.” John knew lying was bad, but he would hate to kill the sunny disposition of the two, and ruin the overall atmosphere of the cafe. This place was pretty sacred to him, and he only wanted a positive experience out of this visit, no matter how shitty he was feeling. “And how are you doing, Lafayette?”  
The first employee to speak, Lafayette, shrugged. “Pretty good so far, man. The Boss Man just gave me a raise, so I’m making peak profits here. I get paid a little more than minimum wage to just fuck around here with Herc, so I’m not exactly complaining. Isn’t that right, Herc?”  
Hercules straightened himself and readjusted the coffee machines while he spoke. “Couldn’t agree more. Being the manager on duty during slow hours really gets me going, I guess. There’s a polisci 101 class that gets out right about now, so they should be getting here in about 10 minutes. It’s not like you to visit on a Wednesday, John. What’s up with that?”  
John didn’t want to admit that after every class he went to his dorm and bawled his eyes out, so he just shrugged it off and smiled. “I just felt like I needed a change in pace, Hercules.” He looked over to Lafayette, and then nudged his head in the direction of the espresso maker. “Mind if I get an iced dirty chai?”  
Lafayette snorted, and jumped off the counter to prepare the drink. “My my, how kinky of you, John!”  
Right when Lafayette finished the drink, the bells chimed again, and a bewildered man came in, hair sticking up in all different directions. Confused, John took a look outside. The trees weren’t bowing, so there definitely wasn’t any wind out there. The man had enormous bags under his eyes, but his energy was through the roof. He was shaking, and John couldn’t tell if it was out of excitement or exhaustion. Hercules rested his elbows on the drink delivery counter, placing his chin in the palms of his hands as he looked at the newcomer. “Alexander. So good to see you, son.”  
At the call of his name, the man, Alexander, jumped, eyebrows furrowed, but he relaxed and his eyes lit with recognition. “Hercules, my good man!” he exclaimed, and John was a little intrigued by his not quite deep, rather… adolescent voice. Alexander flashed a smile, his teeth bright, but stained with coffee, which John connected with how well Alexander knew the employees at the cafe. He set his bag down at a nearby table, a heavy clunk echoing through the empty cafe. Alexander rubbed his forehead, glancing at the menu. “I was going to try something new today, guys, but I don’t feel like playing outside of my comfort zone. I’ll just have the usual.” John stirred his chai with the straw, contemplating taking another sip, but somehow it felt weird in the presence of this new man.  
When Hercules began mixing some strange concoction of drip coffee and pumps of different syrups, Alexander turned to go back to his bag, but then finally caught wind of John, and noticed him for the first time. He looked puzzled, and glanced around the cafe once more before turning his gaze back to John. “And who are you? Normally I’m the only one who’s in here at this time. Is that a chai? My mother loves- er, loved those.”  
John was a bit disoriented by Alexander’s change in tense when referring to his mother, but he decided not to ask any further questions and just nodded. “Yea, I-I decided to stop in here a-after class.” John flinched at his reckless stuttering, but Alexander seemed to take interest in it, a small smile playing on his lips.  
“Nervous, huh? Most people are when they meet me.” His eyes flashed, and he pulled back the sleeve on his jumper and flexed, though there was little muscle to be shown. “I guess I’m just that charming.”  
Hercules set down the drink on the counter, and backed away when Alexander pounced on it like a mighty beast hunting down its prey. He rolled his eyes. “John’s like that with most people.” He glanced over at John and ran his gaze up and down him, then turned back to Alexander. “He’s a pretty nervous guy.”  
John reached up and scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, I guess you could say tha-”  
“Jonathan, huh? Nice name. I mean, mine is Alexander, and that’s what Herc calls me ‘cause he likes to pretend that he’s a big gruff dad, but everybody else calls me Alex. Alexander seems way too formal.” He took a sip of his drink, shivers visibly running down his body. He slammed the cup down on the table, a bit of liquid erupting from the lid. “That is some good shit, Herc. You seem to make it better every time. So, Jonathan, what class did you come from?”  
John crossed his arms, itching his right arm with his left hand, having set the chai down while Alex was rambling about his name. “Er, marine biology.”  
Alex looked surprised. “Jonathan, I gotta tell you this- you do not seem like a marine bio person. I could totally see you doing art, and jacking off to nude models or whatever. But marine bio? Definitely not my first thought.”  
John was a little offended. Did Alex really think he was a creep, and would jerk off to nude models? He felt the same emotions from earlier, sensing the snake crawling up his leg, ready to constrict around his chest.  
Alex seemed to sense his hurt, because he made a quick recovery. Or at least attempted to. “I was just joking, Jonathan. Sorry about that. Anyways… What do you even do in marine bio?”  
John shrugged, now a little uninterested in conversing with Alex. Why should he bother entertaining someone who would just ridicule him? John at first thought that he had potential to be friendly with Alex, but now that the other man had insulted him more than once, things weren’t exactly looking up. “Uh, today I had to give a presentation to my classmates.”  
Lafayette, who had been a little uncharacteristically silent, perked up. “A whole presentation, John? To all of your classmates?” He beamed. “That seems like a big task. Did you do okay?”  
John laughed. “Yup, all 264. I hope I did okay, but you know me. Performing in front of groups is not my forte.”  
Alex studied John, forehead wrinkled as he thought about the conversation topic. “Well, what did you talk about?”  
John walked over to his bag and pulled out the drawings that he had made, then handed one to Alex. “I pretty much talked about these for an hour.” He watched as Alex looked over the drawings, and blushed when the other man tried to stifle a laugh. Why would Alex be laughing about his work? John considered taking them back, just yanking them out of the other man’s hand before he could speak.  
“Jonathan, these are naked turtles. You’re trying to tell me that you got up in front of a whole lecture hall, 264 students, and rambled about naked turtles for an hour?” Alex grinned, eyes lit with mischief.  
John bit his lip, and grabbed the drawings back from Alex. He felt the snake getting closer to his chest, poking at the middle of his ribcage. He flinched, and his throat tightened. He had to get out of there. This is why he didn’t make new friends- they were either going to be rude to him or take advantage of him. Did anybody have any respect for feelings anymore? “I gotta head back to my dorm. Pretty big test coming up in statistics, and I want to study for it.”  
Hercules looked a little disappointed. “Well, alright then. See you on Sunday, at least?”  
Though at the moment he didn’t exactly feel up to coming back to the cafe, especially after actually having a conversation with other frequents, John nodded yes, shoving the drawings back into his back. “Yea, I’ll see you Sunday.”  
Alex started at John as he walked towards the door, and then spoke. “See yah, Jonathan.”  
John paused right as he opened the door, eyeing Alex. He thought about just leaving without saying anything, but the way that Alex referred to him as Jonathan really got onto his nerves.  
“Call me John.”


End file.
